Jess Anne Roberts

Just a Native Phoenician Sweating and Living
Television

Toxic TV Couples I Shipped

Due to it being February, the month of love, all my posts this month will have to do with TV couples (one of my favorite topics to write about). Today we’re starting with toxic TV couples I shipped.

One of the great things about shipping fictional pairings is that we can root for couples who in real life any sane person would advise both of them to walk away without looking back. But TV is supposed to be entertaining and plenty of TV show runners like to amp up the entertainment factor by sprinkling kerosene on a relationship and then throwing a lit match at it. So, again, while I knew deep down that the following people were bad for each other, I still wanted them to get their happily-ever-afters.

Kelso & Jackie, That 70’s Show

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I’ve discussed Kelso & Jackie’s twisted love before but they deserve another mention here. Despite their sparkling chemistry, these two were AWFUL for each other. Jackie demeaned and talked down to Kelso, verbally abusing him pretty much all the time. Meanwhile, Kelso acted out his frustrations by fooling around with other women. So when they finally ended their back-and-forth, will-they-won’t-they romance at the end of season four, it was definitely the healthiest decision for both of them.

Chuck & Blair, Gossip Girl

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I fell in love with Chuck and Blair after watching the episode Sixteen Candles in the first season (Chuck and Blair had sex in a limo in the episode before and Blair’s hoping to get back together with her ex, Nate, who she expects to make her birthday great as he always does but Chuck ends up being the one to save the day for her). It’s fantastic watching snarky Chuck and Blair acting vulnerable with each other and starting to fall in love. Their back-and-forth continues until the end of season two when they both admit they love each other. Then the writers decided to break them up by having Chuck sell Blair for a hotel (don’t ask and don’t watch the season). In the final season, they’re pushed back together in a rush job to give fans the happily-ever-after they wanted but by then it’s too late because I don’t think they’re good for each other and wish they’d just stayed friends.

Brian & Justin, Queer as Folk

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It’s a really good thing Brian and Justin are fictional, because on paper, they’re kind of icky. The pilot episode of the show has 29 year-old Brian picking up 17 year-old Justin outside a club and bringing him home for a night of hot sex. Brian is a selfish playboy but he’s drawn to Justin in spite of himself and proceeds to spend the next four seasons basically toying with Justin’s emotions (okay, Justin does a little toying too sometimes). But even when Brian realizes how much he cares about Justin, he still refuses to give up sleeping with other men. He won’t say he loves him or treat him like a real partner. A bit of progression is made by the last episodes of the last season when Brian does tell Justin he loves him and proposes. But that doesn’t make up for his horrid treatment the rest of the time.

Jax & Tara, Sons of Anarchy

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Jax and Tara make me sad. They were so good the first couple of seasons and then Jax started to change and he became a different person. He got deeper and deeper into the club life and couldn’t find a way out. He brought Tara down with him and she ended up paying with her life. They were such a great example of second chance romance and I hate that the show ended with Tara dead and Jax alone.

Daniel & Kim, Freaks & Geeks

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A lot of people shipped Lindsay and Daniel but I liked Kim and Daniel. They were both off-kilter enough to balance each other out and the chemistry was definitely there. Unfortunately, because they had a tendency to over-react and yell and scream at each other, they really should not have been together. They were a little too alike. Freaks & Geeks was only one season and they broke up towards the end but I have no doubt they would’ve gotten back together to continue their on-and-off relationship if the show had continued.

Ross & Rachel, Friends

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I was in middle school when I started watching Friends and I immediately shipped Ross and Rachel like all the other fans of the show. It wasn’t until years later that I realized how horrible they were together. I think I just liked the idea of a guy crushing on a girl forever and finally getting her so much that I overlooked that the couple in question had nothing in common and didn’t really respect each other, which are important foundations for most love matches. Ross and Rachel should’ve stayed apart after their break up but instead we had six more years of back-and-forth and an innocent baby got dragged into the mix.

Carmen & Shane, The L Word

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These two are another couple I loved the first time I watched them and then later realized they never should’ve been together. But the chemistry. Oh, the chemistry. Shane was a player who went through women like tissue and when she met sweet, sexy Carmen, she went after her. Carmen fell hard and fast for Shane and was devastated when Shane had no interest in commitment so she turned to Jenny, a friend of Shane’s. Then Shane pined for Carmen until the two finally admitted they still had feelings for each other. Then Shane proposed to Carmen but as the wedding approached, Shane got cold feet and didn’t think she could handle a monogamous relationship so she left Carmen the day of the wedding. Which, in retrospect, was a good thing for Carmen, but seriously? On the wedding day? Not cool, Shane, not cool

So there they are, all the toxic couples I still love to this day even though I know they shouldn’t be together.

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