As a romance writer and romance reader, I’ve read a lot of romance novels over the years. One thing I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older is that I’ve become a lot less tolerant of certain tropes. When I was younger, plots and characters might have bothered me but I didn’t think too much of them. Now, as soon as I come across them, I toss the book aside (or close the tab if I’m reading an ebook). Here, in no particular order, are some of the tropes I greatly dislike when I come across them in romance novels.
Surprise pregnancy
These days most adults know how to use contraceptives to prevent conception. Or so you’d think. Actually, you might not think after reading a bunch of contemporary romances where the heroine is shocked to discover she’s expecting after having unprotected sex with the hero. I’m just not interested in the conflict that comes along with a couple (usually friends or strangers who had a one-night/one-weekend fling) navigating parenthood together while falling in love. Boring.
Not discussing or using birth control
This one is a HUGE pet peeve and there’s no excuse for it in contemporary novels. Historicals I give a pass to because birth control was not a common discussion back then but it really chaps my hide when two people are so overcome by their passion that they don’t take the time to stop and talk about using a condom or if she’s on some sort of hormonal birth control. I don’t find it hot or sexy, I find it super annoying and it takes me out of the scene.
Secret child
I used to really enjoy the secret child trope. Don’t ask me why because now I hate it. Mainly because the reason for the heroine keeping the baby a secret from the hero is almost always stupid. He broke up with her before she could tell him about the pregnancy so she figured if he didn’t want her, he wouldn’t want the baby. Or he was cheating on her and she decided he didn’t deserve to know (with this one she usually ends up being wrong about him cheating and there was some other misunderstanding happening). In any case, once the hero finds out he does have a kid, then we have to go through him being mad at the heroine or her being mad at him and the slow thaw before they start falling in love again. We also have to read about the hero bonding with his kid. No thanks.
Friends who have been secretly in love with each other for years and don’t say anything
Friends-to-lovers is a hugely popular romance trope and one that is hit or miss with me. It’s especially a miss if the book begins and we find out that the heroine has secretly been in love with the hero since high school/college and pining for him as he’s gone through woman after woman, never admitting her feelings because she’s scared he doesn’t feel the same and he’s a player. Then we switch to the hero’s POV and find out that he’s actually secretly in love with her too but he’s never said anything because he thinks she doesn’t feel the same! It’s Lack of Communication 101 and then we have to go through more tedious roadblocks before the two finally, finally tell each other how they feel. It’s stupid and lame and makes me want to knock the heroine and hero’s heads together.
When women pine and the men are manwhores
This is another trope that’s extremely common in the contemporary romance and new adult categories. For whatever reason, in friends-to-lovers and second chance romances, authors love to make the heroine not sleep with any other man while the hero, even if he’s “still in love” with the heroine or has feelings for her, is out sleeping around with any and every willing woman. It’s gross and misogynistic and just plain anger-inducing.
Meddling friends, family, and townspeople
I’ve never lived in a small town but I am close to my family and have a few friends. None of them care about my love life so much that they’re constantly forcing me into situations where I can get to know my crush better. Yet in so many romance novels, a heroine or hero will find themselves being harassed and tricked and convinced into spending time with the person their town has deemed “perfect” for them. The hero or heroine are annoyed at first then realize everyone around him or her knows best and gives in. As a relatively private person, I would not be happy with so much meddling and find it irritating to read about even if the hero or heroine don’t mind.
Alpha heros
When I was younger and more naïve, I loved alpha heroes. They were protective and sexy and just wanted what was best for their women. But now I’ve come to realize that most alpha heroes are just controlling douchebags. Not all of them, of course. I’ve read a few books with men who start out typically alpha at the beginning then soften and understand they need to back off and let the heroine live her life by the end. Unfortunately I still pick up a lot of contemporaries where the hero tells the heroine what to do, gets insanely jealous, controls her life, and readers swoon. NO. Supporting your woman is sexy. Controlling her is not.
Weak heroines
On the opposite end of the alpha male spectrum, we have the weak heroine. This one probably doesn’t need much explanation but I’ll give one anyway. Weak heroines let the hero and other people in her life boss her around and don’t stand up for themselves. It’s very irritating to read and doesn’t make me root for her to get together with the hero.
Heroes and heroines with no personality
This one occurs a surprising amount of time. We’re introduced to a hero or heroine, see them do their job, then they meet their love interest and suddenly it’s sex 24/7 and fighting and drama. But the couple have no personality traits. We don’t know their hobbies or their favorite movies or their favorite food. They’re just a typical romance heroine and a typical romance hero. And that’s boring.
Heroes and heroines who don’t do their jobs
A small nitpick but a valid one nevertheless. Some books will have one scene at the beginning explaining what the hero and heroine do for a living, show them working, then never show them at work again for the rest of the book. And I partly get it; sometimes characters don’t have interesting jobs. But for most people, work is a big part of their lives and not showing characters doing their jobs or at least mentioning their jobs frequently is unrealistic and takes me out of the book.
Instalust
Yes, it’s a romance novel but when a couple meets and they’re eye-fucking each other within seconds and drooling over each other’s physical attributes, I just can’t.
Instalove
Again, I know I’m reading a romance novel but I’m reading it to experience a couple falling in love. If they’re already in love by chapter five or chapter ten, what’s my incentive to keep reading? Nothing.
No conflict
I saved my most hated trope for last. When a book’s conflict fizzles out. Conflict drives fiction. Any time you pick up a story, the story begins with an inciting incident which throws characters’ lives into chaos and then the chaos keeps building and building until the end when everything is resolved. Some people think romance novels are just about two people meeting and falling in love and having a lot of sex. And yes, this is usually what happens in a lot of romance novels. But to keep the story going, to keep the reader interested, THERE HAS TO BE CONFLICT. There has to be friction and misunderstandings and fights and feelings getting hurt and miscommunication. Otherwise you’re just reading about two people having sex and bonding and getting along with friends and family. That’s boring. I recently put down a book that started out well and with plenty of conflict but then the couple confessed their love by the 1/3 mark. 1/3! Why should I even bother reading the rest of the story? I couldn’t think of a reason so I didn’t. Remember that conflict drives story and keeps someone reading. If there’s no conflict, no one wants to read it. Or I don’t anyway.