I am currently pet sitting for some family friends. Sadly, they do not have cable or any streaming services so I’ve been forced to raid their collection of DVDs (which is not great). I decided to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which I remember seeing (possibly in the theater) when it came out almost 20 years ago.
I remember liking the movie well enough but I was a teenager at the time. I didn’t put much critical thought into movies. I either liked it or I didn’t.
Well, I’m much more critical now and as I was watching the movie, I had A LOT of issues with it. So many I started writing a list.
Enjoy!
-Why does Toula dress so badly, not wear makeup (not saying all women have to wear makeup but come on, a little concealer and blush wouldn’t kill her), and let her hair be flat, greasy, and unstyled? She looks like she’s given up on life, which I suppose is the point, but come ON. No 30 year-old woman (I think she’s supposed to be 30) would go around like that. The only reason she appears this way is so we get the stupid, obligatory makeover sequence.
-Toula states in a voice-over that every Greek woman’s duty is to get married and have children. I get that she’s just echoing her family’s outdated thoughts but still. Gross.
-Her dad is an asshole. He constantly criticizes her looks and bemoans the fact that she’s still single and will never find a man. Screw you, dude.
-Her grandmother comes over from Greece and has some kind of dementia because she constantly thinks the Turks are attacking her and escapes from the house at all hours of the day and neighbors have to return her. This is supposed to be “funny” but it’s not. Also annoying is that grandma is perfectly fine and lucid when the plot calls for it, other times she’s off on another planet.
-Why does Toula act like a complete idiot the first time Ian comes into the family restaurant? First of all, he’s not that good looking. Second of all, she can’t even string a freaking sentence together, she just stares like a stalker from across the room, then comes over and stares at him as she stands in front of the table. The exact opposite of a meet cute.
-How does no one realize sooner that Ian and Toula are secretly dating? She tells everyone she’s taking a “pottery class” and then skips around singing songs and acting so happy. Her family is all up in her business all the time yet no one suspects something is going on? I call bullshit.
-Ian tells Toula he fell in love with her because she’s “interesting”. At no point do we see her being interesting.
-Why doesn’t Toula have any friends outside her family? Most romantic comedies have the “best friend” whose only job is to talk to the main character about her love problems but Toula doesn’t even have that with a member of her family.
-Toula’s dad gets so upset when Ian’s parents act reserved upon meeting their whole loud Greek clan and tells his wife “it won’t work.” Ian and Toula’s marriage won’t work just because the two families had one awkward first meeting? This guy is a real piece of work.
-Toula has like, 10 bridesmaids and we’ve never seen her having a one-on-one conversation with ANY of them.
-The scene where Ian’s mother gives Toula’s mother a bundt cake and no one knows what it is? Horrible. The family has lived in Chicago for a long time. How could not one of the family members gathered around watching this exchange not know what a bundt cake is? And Toula’s parents own a restaurant!
-Ian’s hair is terrible. He should’ve cut it for the wedding.
-At the reception, Toula’s dad gives them the keys to a house for a wedding present and both Toula and Ian are happy about this. Toula, I can see going along with this but Ian? He’s not at all bothered that he couldn’t pick out his own house? I call bullshit again.
-The house ends up being next door to Toula’s parents, of course. What are the odds that the house next door to Toula’s parents would be for sale right before her wedding? Knowing what an asshole her father is, he probably badgered the poor people into putting the place up for sale and moving. I know I wouldn’t want to live next to such a dick.
-This movie is awful. The romance is minimal and the conflict is non-existent. Do yourself a favor and never watch it.