I’ve mentioned Kelso and Jackie from That ’70s Show a few times on this blog (Toxic TV Couples I Shipped, Unpopular TV Couples I Shipped). When I watched the show during the years it aired, they were my favorite couple. To be fair, the show aired when I was 14-24 (and I stopped watching after the actor playing Kelso, Ashton Kutcher, left). What I’m saying is that I was a teenager who was easily swayed by pretty faces and good couple chemistry. Now when I re-watch my DVDs, I’m appalled by how terrible they were together. Let’s dive a little bit deeper into why they were so terrible, shall we?
Jackie Was Verbally Abusive
Look, I get that the show was a comedy. Everything was played for a joke, including Kelso and Jackie’s messed-up dynamic. Whenever he made a mistake, Jackie was the first one to call him out. And she seemed to take great pleasure in doing so. Even one of their most romantic moments, the scene in “The Promise Ring”, season three, where Kelso gives Jackie his promise ring, is marred by her marching up to him and saying, “Where’s my ring, you idiot?” Not exactly the stuff romance is made of.
Kelso Cheated on Jackie. A Lot
Kelso claimed to love Jackie but he cheated on her over and over and over. In season one, he made out with Pam Macy. At the beginning of season two, he started an ongoing affair with Eric’s sister, Laurie, that lasted most of the season until Jackie found out and dumped him. Instead of telling her he didn’t want to get married at the end of season four, he ran off to California and started dating a girl named Annette. He admits to there being even more girls Jackie never knew about in the following exchange with Hyde during season five when he and Hyde are fighting over Jackie:
Kelso: “…I never stopped loving her.”
Hyde: “Yeah, well, you stopped long enough to cheat on her with Pam Macy, Laurie, and Annette. Who else am I forgetting?”
Kelso: “Oh, there were many others.”
I found that exchange completely appalling, even more so because the audience laughed after Kelso delivered that last line. And again, I get it, the show was a comedy about teenagers living through the seventies, we weren’t supposed to take throw-away jokes seriously. But as a shipper, I did.
They Needed Serious Counseling
I firmly believe that if Jackie and Kelso had gotten some counseling, they might’ve made it in the long-run. But because they were a teen couple, the show did not want to go there and instead chose to do what most TV shows do: break them up, then get them back together, then break them up, then get them back together. This went on and on until Jackie and Hyde finally hooked up.
If they had gone to counseling, I’m sure a professional would’ve told Jackie that her constant belittling of Kelso and put-downs made him feel bad about himself. So bad that he went out and found a woman who wouldn’t put him down which then typically led to sex. So if Jackie could’ve just stopped insulting him all the time and been nice, maybe Kelso would not have cheated. Or maybe he would’ve, who knows.
At the end of the day, there’s no denying Jackie and Kelso were a big dysfunctional mess. That’s why part of me was happy when the show ended and two did not reunite. But in my head, because I’m a writer, I decided that a few years later, when they were more mature, they reconnected and managed to stay together for the rest of the their lives. Why not? It could’ve happened.